Helping Children Deal with
Tragedy
In light of the US Tragedy on September 11, 2001, we are posting the following suggestions
to assist parents to deal with their children's anxieties. The suggestions below are paraphrased from information posted on the Principal's Intranet by the Ontario Principal's Council.
Be an example to your children of calm and control. Children take their emotional cues from the significant adults in their lives. Avoid appearing anxious or frightened.
Reassure your children that they are safe and so are the other important people in their lives. In the case of a terrorist activity, such as plane crashes or bombings, the buildings involved were targeted for their symbolism. Schools, neighbourhoods, and regular office buildings are not at risk.
Remind your children that our leaders are trustworthy. Emergency workers are trained to help people and to ensure that no further tragedies occur.
Let children know it is okay to feel upset. All feelings are ok when a tragedy occurs. Let children talk about their feelings and help them to achieve perspective. Even anger is okay, but help your children to express their feelings appropriately.
Keep an eye on your child's emotional state. Children may not express their concerns verbally, but any change in behaviour may indicate grief, anxiety or discomfort. There is no right or wrong way to express or feel grief.
Tell your children the truth. Don't embellish or speculate about what has or will happen. Don't dwell on the scope of the tragedy, particularly with young children.
Keep the information you provide, age appropriate. Young children need brief, simple explanations. Older children may have questions and be more vocal. They may need assistance separating fact from fantasy. They may have some strong opinions about the causes of violence. They may share some concrete suggestions on how to prevent tragedies in the future. They will also be more committed to doing something to help the victims and affected community. For all children, encourage them to verbalize their thoughts and feelings.
Tell your children that you love them and that everything will be ok.
Make time to talk to your children.
Stay close to your children - your physical presence will reassure them. Give plenty of hugs.
Limit your child's television viewing of these events. Don't sit mesmerized watching the same events over and over.
Maintain a normal routine, but don't be inflexible if your child is having difficulty concentrating or falling asleep.
Spend extra time reading or playing quiet games with your children before bed. These activities are calming. Spend more time tucking them in and let them have a night light if they request it.
Stress can take a toll. Make sure your children get plenty of sleep, exercise and nutrition.
Consider praying or thinking hopeful thoughts for the victims and their families. It may be good to take your children to church or synagogue, write a poem, or draw a picture to help your child express their feelings and feel that they are somehow supporting the victims and their families.
Schools should have a plan for making counselling available to children and adults who need it.
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